For the most part I think the order of my paper was okay and did flow well. The last paragraph may need to be moved towards the beginning of the paper or expanded on. Also one point made in my review was to refer to the term thug as a term that the author used to describe some of the young men in the essay. This is important for the readers to know this is not my personal thought or word choice. Overall I think all of the feedback that I received was wonderful. All points were valid and made sense. There were a couple that I had to reread because in writing the original paper everything made sense to me. but after going back and reading my essay as if I were an outside reader, there were some points to clear up. There were a few instances where I mentioned the word "they" but didn't clarify who I was referring to.
I don't think direction wise that there is a different way I want my paper to go. I think I put good thought into my paper but again I just need to expand a little more in some areas. Some parts that I still have questions on is if my corrections that I have made are sufficient enough to clear up any questions after reading the essay the first time around. This question however can be solved after I re-submit my draft. Otherwise I don't have any other questions.
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